Why You Shouldn't Be Excited About Star Wars Episode VII

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a huge Star Wars fan. Don't get me wrong, I've seen all six films multiple times, albeit not in a few years. That being said, I don't care about it a great deal. I think Return of the Jedi is the best one, whatever that means, purely for the scenes between Luke and Darth Vader. I respect the 'Original Trilogy.' Technically, they're very impressive in terms of effects, they're well-designed, Darth Vader is a well-realised character and the twist at the end of The Empire Strikes Back is a classic film moment. I don't hate the Prequels. I was a little kid in 1999 when The Phantom Menace came out so I still have some affection for it. I thought Darth Maul was cool and never found Jar Jar sufficiently annoying to be worth worrying about. That being said, I do think the Prequels are nothing more than mediocre action films. I definitely don't like Revenge of the Sith, which I found narratively disappointing. The only decent bit is when Yoda fights the Emperor. [Update: What was I thinking when I wrote that? Yoda vs the Emperor is one of the stupidest bits in Episode III] Grievous was stupid. Anyway, my point is I'm neither here nor there when it comes to Star Wars. I get that people like them but at the same time I think they're limited.

Now that Disney owns Lucasfilm and has J.J. Abrams making a new Star Wars film a lot of people have been, I think, optimistic, because they're bringing back the original cast and because Abrams' Star Trek films show that he has a greater aptitude for space-opera action than he does for insightful sci-fi. But now the teaser is out and everyone's carrying on like it's the Second Coming. Beyond the fact that all we saw was some desert, some stormtroopers, some X-Wings and a new silly lightsaber design, all fairly calculated signifiers of what "Star Wars" is in the popular unconscious, it's ridiculous the amount of anticipation this has generated. I wish to interrogate this in the style of a hypothetical conversation with someone who is getting really hyped about this project.

WOW OMG STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS LIGHTSABER HNNNGH

Frankly, I thought it just looked like a collection of random postmodern signifiers of what people think Star Wars is: a silly hovering vehicle, the desert, a funny droid, stormtroopers, X-Wings and the Millennium Falcon. All that tells me is that the people making this are trying to cash in on people's nostalgia and expectations rather than trying to make a good film.

BUT MILLENNIUM FALCON ORIGINAL TRILOGY

So because you see a bunch of digital recreations of stuff from thirty years ago, that makes you excited? Why?

YOU'RE JUST A HATER YOU WANT JAR JAR TO BE THE LAST THING EVER

True, I'm no great Star Wars fan. But I'd be curious to know how big a Star Wars fan you are as well. And if you are such a big fan, why do you care about new films made by someone else? Sure, some of the actors are the same, and George Lucas had a little involvement, but do you get this excited about fan fiction? These are sequels, they're not the same thing. They could be crap for all you know - unless of course you convince yourself that they're not crap before you even see it, which is no different to, say, writing it off as garbage before you even see it (as I'm doing). The original films were successful for their engagement with theory (especially Campbell's Monomyth) and their technical achievements. By the Prequels, that wasn't possible anymore. Bringing back Hamill, Ford and Fisher isn't going to change that.

IT'LL BE ENTERTAINING YOU HATE ENTERTAINMENT HIPSTER

As I've discussed elsewhere surely 'entertainment' means different things to different people. Besides, as I said in my article on the Avengers 2 teaser, there's nothing noble or admirable about wanting 'just entertainment,' about not wanting to think. These corporations want you to not think so that you'll give them more money. Hollywood is about profit, and profit is about the bottom line: what's the least we can do to make the most? And if that means tricking people into seeing a 'continuation of the beloved original films' by using a bunch of meaningless signifiers (like the original cast) then that's what they'll do. You're not a hero for wanting to shut off your brain. That's a fatuous declaration that you want greedy businesses, who, and I must emphasise this, do not know or care about you at all, to manipulate you, exploit you and treat you with utter contempt in return for a few charlatan tricks to make you think you're consuming something you aren't.

Hollywood is the McDonald's of culture. Sure, the film might be good. I doubt it very, very much, but it might be. But as I said with Avengers, these films are pieces of product, and they don't deserve your enthusiasm. Or maybe I'm just a curmudgeon with a chip on his shoulder. But I still think you ought to calm down, show a little self-respect and not give these people exactly what they want.

"Don't Like, Don't Watch"

The single most useless and ineffectual response to criticism is "If you don't like it, don't watch it." I have a good reason for thinking that this is both useless and ineffectual. Let's render the sentence down into its psychological components, replacing the specific "watch" with the more general "consume." Why does the person saying this want the critic to not consume it? We must first of all dismiss the notion that this is out of altruism: "I'm telling you this for your emotional wellbeing!" Nonsense. Moving on. The person who utters this phrase has a motivation, a self-interest, in the critic not watching. Why? If the critic does not consume the media, they have no legitimate grounds on which to criticise it. You cannot justifiably criticise something you haven't seen. My article doing just this was intended to draw attention to this notion. The most I can do is offer remarks on why the concept does not appeal to me, why I've never started. I couldn't talk to a big fan of, say, the "Game of Thrones" TV show and tell them that it was rubbish. I haven't seen it, so I can't say that it's rubbish. I might give them a medal for how astoundingly original their taste in television is, but I could hardly criticise them for it. People who say "Don't like, don't watch" don't want something they watch, and presumably something they like, to be criticised.

Why not? I've been in conversations with people who say that Tolkien, who any regular reader might have gathered is my favourite author, was a bad poet, that he described the setting too much, that he "couldn't write." Over the years instead of throwing up mental earthworks and hunkering down I've taken on board a lot of these remarks, and it's improved the way I read the works because I can see why people have issues with Tolkien, even if they don't bother me personally. It expands one's understanding. I would never say to one of these people "Well you shouldn't have read the book in the first place." Why? Well firstly it would be an incredibly stupid thing to say because it's impossible to form an opinion of something without consuming it. We can extrapolate this, however, to serial fiction. Why do I watch these shows that I criticise on this blog? I watch them because I want them to be good. I want to enjoy myself. Sometimes I do, to a certain extent, as can be observed in most of my reviews. I'm generally willing to offer at least a few positives. If I don't watch it, how can I know either way? What if I miss something I enjoy? Maybe it's just a kind of Stockholm Syndrome where I'll watch anything with a particular name slapped on it. Even if that's the case, however, the criticism fulfils a purpose: expanding the sum of consideration on a work. Even if it's only seen by someone and it helps them understand the other side of the argument, or it helps them consider their own creative activities, or even if it gives comfort to someone who feels like bewildered with an opinion that differs to the norm, it has achieved something.

"Don't like don't watch" achieves nothing. People who say "don't like don't watch" just want to feel comforted. Allow me to explain this. As I've established, people who say "don't like don't watch" don't want something they like, a piece of media, to be criticised. For some reason it matters. Why? In enjoying this thing, they have identified with it, and in identifying with it they have over-identified with it. Therefore if someone criticises what they like, it seems like a personal attack. It feels like the critic is criticising them, not the work. Sometimes, of course, critics do level personal attacks at the people who like something. I myself have aimed a few low blows at fans of one thing or another, which of course is beastly behaviour not in the purview of professional criticism. Opinions Can Be Wrong is not a professional criticism blog, however, so there you go. It doesn't matter, however, because "don't like don't watch" isn't a response to personal attacks. It's a response to criticisms which turns them into personal attacks. It's in the same school as "make your own then." "Don't like don't watch" at a fundamental level just means "I am insecure."

I think any reasonable person would agree that one person's insecurity is no reason to shut down criticism, nor that it is the responsibility of people who consume media to protect the self-esteem of its fans by not criticising it. As a response, therefore, it serves no purpose beyond revealing that the person who said it lacks the psychological and emotional fortitude to handle criticism of things they enjoy and is not sufficiently mature to have a functional identity independent of media. Insecurity manifests as fatuousness, which is to say contentment in one's own stupidity in full knowledge of that stupidity. It's a passive-aggressive behaviour which tries to deny the power of consumers and reflects a willing enslavement to faceless corporate entities. I'll get to that at some point. This is, of course, a trauma which has been manufactured by the modern age where the increasing quality of life, as unlikely as it might seem that it is increasing, gives people more and more leisure time and more and more kinds of media. As such Western culture has become incredibly dependent on entertainment, but that dependence is not purely a commercial one. Entertainment has infected the Western identity, producing people who are simultaneously entertained and taken complete advantage of by the media they consume, because entertainment is responsible for both the fragility of the modern Westerner's identity and the very wobbly crutches which hold it up.

We live in a culture where self esteem is hard to come by. The media constantly assaults us with people who are living more exciting and more luxurious lives than that of the average citizen: celebrities, businesspeople, even politicians. Consumers feel as if they have not achieved anything - even if they have - and so they retreat to safe havens: hobbies and interests. The situation is compounded by their factor of monetary investment. But when hobbies and interests are all you've got, what are you going to do when the critics come knocking? No, criticism is not infallible, and yes criticism itself ought to be criticised. What serves no purpose beyond embedding people's neuroses, however, is trying to shut down criticism. Find strength in your own achievements rather than perceiving yourself as weak in comparison to others. "Don't like don't watch" is a useless phrase. People ought to take criticism of the things they like on board and consider them. Sometimes it can be annoying, but the point is to overcome that frustration and master self-control, not to be a creature of impulse who lashes out at the first sign of danger. Besides, the businesses who produce most hobbies and interests, be they shows or films, books or games or whatever, are generally listening to the money, not the critics, so it's not like a few people criticising will mean your toys are taken away. Criticise people, criticise things, criticise criticism, but don't stop criticism because criticism is healthy and necessary. What people should stop doing, however, is over-identifying with what they consume, and start having a little self-respect.